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Parenting At-Risk Teens
Understanding the factors that may put a teenager at risk will help parents determine whether their teen is in need of extra support. Being aware of common problems can help parents determine when it is important to reach out and ask for help before a difficult situation develops into something much more serious. Parental involvement in the lives of children has been shown to lower at-risk behaviors in children. Recent research at Columbia University determined that parents who exert parental authority by taking a “hands-on” approach with their teens not only have better relationships with their kids, but also reduce the teenager’s at-risk behaviors. Some on hands parenting techniques include: • Parents who expect to be told where their teen is going and who they are spending their time with • Parents who are aware of how their teen is doing in school • Parents who assign chores for teens to complete on a regular basis • Parents who set a curfew and stick to it • Parents who are aware of the teens daily activities and who know who their child’s friends The fact is, all children, especially at-risk teens need their parents to establish clear rules and expectations. Research confirms that “hands-on” parents are more likely to have a solid, healthy relationship than permissive parents (Hands on Parenting). Validate the teen’s feelings. Sometimes teenagers react to situations in ways adults think are inappropriate, overdramatic, or silly. This is because teens don’t have the benefit of adult experience. What is minor to an adult may be very important to them. For example, if the teen says, “Mrs. Jones doesn’t like me. She gives me too much homework,” don’t dismiss them by saying, “That’s ridiculous-everyone gets the same amount of homework.” Instead validate the teen’s feelings, investigate the situation, and guide them to a better understanding of the situation (Keeping Youth Drug Free). At-risk indicators may be present in some children from early elementary school, where other children indicators may become noticeable only in early adolescence. To intervene effectively, teachers and parents should be aware of some common behaviors of at-risk teens, including: multiple retentions in grade – the student has been retained one or more years; behavior problems – the student may be frequently disciplined or show a sudden change in school behavior; lack of confidence – the student believes that his or her own ability is insufficient; absenteeism – the teen is absent five or more days per term; grades at below average level; and limited goals for the future. Parents need to make time to listen to their teen and try to understand their concerns and fears. They should encourage their child to participate in one or more school activities and try to get them excited about school. Providing a supportive home environment that clearly values education is essential to the at-risk teen. At-risk teens need parental direction and boundaries; it is crucial to maintain consistency in their lives. Above all, parents need to persevere. The teen years are often difficult for the teenager as well as their loved ones, and most teens survive them, in spite of a few bumps along the way. Being aware of common problems can keep a difficult situation from turning into a disaster (Parenting Tips for Parents and Teens). Works Cited
“Hands on Parenting” Family First. 2002. 05 Apr. 2005. http://www.familyfirst.net/parenting/hands-on.asp
“Keeping Youth Drug Free” U.S. Department of Health and Human Services Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration. Rockville, M.D.” National Clearing House for Alcohol and Drug Information, 2002. “Parenting Tips for Parents and Teens” Parenting Tips. 2003 05 Apr. 2005 http://parenting-tips.donyell.net/
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