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The Joys and Challenges of Parenting Teens
Teenagers are often absorbed in a world within themselves. They withdraw from contact with others, and are limited by self-centeredness. “Are you listening to me?” is a common plea from parents and teachers in response to their sulking and silence. Because their social role is unclear, teenagers are inclined to sensitivity, shyness, and aggressiveness to mask their insecurity. Social fears are common, such as being ignored, feeling rejected, losing control, looking foolish, and feeling rejected (Ornum and Murdock). There is also a very bright and fullfilling side to parenting teens that is often overlooked. Simple joys in parenting teenagers include: acknowledging when your teen dresses appropriately; when they use caring behavior with siblings and other family members; watching your teen master a task that previously baffled them; introducing their friends to family members; watching your teen become more independent and increase their responsible behaviors, such as completing homework and chores on time; encouraging your teenager when they discuss problem-solving skills, ideas, solutions, and values. Teenagers often present many unique challenges including: isolating themselves and spending all of their time when at home in their room; experimenting with drugs and alcohol; staying out past their agreed upon curfew; not getting up on time to make it to school; cutting classes; repeatedly not completing homework assignments; testing family guidelines and values; and testing their loved ones patience with a surly, bad attitude (Joys and Challenges of Parenting Teens). When dealing with a challenging teen remember, they must learn to make choices and commitments and follow through with them. Teens need to be respected for tackling these tasks; they are courageous and complicated actions. It’s easy for parents to get frustrated as their teenager swings back and forth between dependence and independence. False starts, poor judgment, mistakes, and impulsive actions are all a part of growing up. The main task of adolescence requires teenagers to learn, and this kind of learning is best done by trial and error. It is important to understand the meaning of the right answer. This is difficult work and it requires constant support from parents and relative. Accept your teen as an individual. Children often model the behaviors they are exposed to. The traits we least like in ourselves are often mirrored through our teenagers. Schedule time for your teen; studies show that opposite to popular belief, teens want to spend more time – not less – with their families. (Focus Adolescent Services). As parents, it is important to keep track of both the challenges and joys of parenting a teen, and then compare the results. It is important to listen to them, set time aside for them everyday, and encourage them to become a well adjusted adult. Working together to improve the parent/teen relationship is definitely a worthwhile endeavor. Works Cited
“Focus Adolescent Services”
Adolescence. 2003. 02 Apr. 2005
http://www.focusas.com/Family/Adolescence.htm
“Joys and Challenges of Parenting Teens” University of Minnesota Extension Services. 2000. 02 Apr. 2005 http://www.extension.umn.edu/info-u/families/BE926.html Ornum, William Y., and John B. Mordock. Crisis Counseling with Children and Adolescents. New York: Continuum Publishing Co, 1991. “Parenting Teens” NNCC Parents: Parenting Teens. 1999. 02 Apr. 2005 http://www.ces.ncsu.edu/depts/fcs/human/pubs/parteens.html |
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