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Common Myths on Parenting Teens
Parenting teens is often a tough and thankless job. The stakes are higher than at any other stage in their development. Many factors affect outcomes in teenagers, including the child’s characteristics, stress within the family and from outside sources, and how much support the teen gets at home, at school, and within the community. There are many myths regarding parenting teenagers that need to be dispelled. Teens don’t suddenly “go bad”. The following myths will hopefully help bring parents and teens together, and take a closer look at the misconceptions that get in the way of understanding each other (Parenting Teens). 1. Once a bad kid, always a bad kid. One of the worst things a parent can do is stick the “bad kid” label on their teen. The parent is reinforcing the idea that the teen is bad, therefore eventually the teen will believe they are bad and act out in destructive ways. 2. You can fix your teenager. If your relationship with your child is not working, you can only work on yourself and your behaviors. In doing so, you can search for the best ways to deal with your teen. You may not be able to control your teens emotional and volatile nature at all times, but you are in control of how you respond to it. 3. A good relationship is a peaceful one. Many parents fail to give their teen guidelines and boundaries because they are afraid of a confrontation. A parent cannot afford to shirk their responsibilities as a parent just for the sake of keeping the peace. 4. Share everything with your teen. Being honest with the teen does not mean being totally open. A parent is the primary role model in the teen’s life and often times teens feel that it’s OK to do something their parent did (Myths Parents Believe about Teens). 5. Teens prefer their friends to their parents. As children begin school, they spend less time with their family, and their friends take on a greater importance in their lives. Adolescents begin to create their own identity through where they go, what they do, and who they spend their time with. Unfortunately, teens with high anxiety or low self-esteem will seek the approval from a peer group. However, if they have been given strategies and tools early in life to deal with tough decisions, they will be able to face these challenges with good results. 6. My teenager won’t talk to me. I can’t get him to open up. Teenagers like to talk. But they must have a willing listener. There should be a balance between routine chatter and meaningful talks. Time and effort needs to be taken to find a quiet place to really talk to the teen about what is going on in their daily lives, and the challenges they are facing. Try to keep an open mind and really listen to what the teen is trying to communicate. Another common myth is that peer pressure is at its worst during adolescent and teen years. Peer pressure is a positive force but it is also overrated. Generally, adolescents choose friends with similar tastes and values to theirs. However, parents still retain the major influence over the teen’s life. Research has shown that parents who monitor their teens can help curb or prevent many risky behaviors. Monitoring also serves to give teens the message that with increased privileges comes increased responsibility and above all that the parent cares enough to set and enforce boundaries (Parenting Teens). Works Cited
“Parenting Teens” NNCC Parents:
Parenting Teens. 1999. 02 Apr. 2005
http://www.ces.ncsu.edu/depts/fcs/human/pubs/parteens.html
“Myths Parents Believe about Teens” Dr.Phil.Com-Advice. 2005. 02 Apr. 2005 http://www.drphil.com/advice/advice.jhtm |
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