Half-truths, misinformation, twisted truth, blatant lying. On the continuum of trust, for parents at least there is a black and white extreme TRUTH and UN-TRUTH… or LIE. 

    In conversations with teenagers, however, it never seems that clear-cut in their world. Surveys indicate that the majority of teenagers believe it is acceptable and even necessary to sometimes not tell their parents anything, the full story, the truth about everything. Some even believe by lying they are protecting themselves, others, their parents in some cases from punishment, mis or ill-treatment, over-reaction, ensuring escape and some teens actually feel vindicated and justified for twisting, bending or omitting the truth.

    Some parenting experts suggest early intervention and that if you are certain your child is lying, it is extremely important to deal with the situation calmly and immediately

• by finding out why your teen feels compelled to be dishonest,
• discussing your feelings about the importance of trust and honest communication, and
• by making clear the consequences your teenager will face if you catch him or her lying in the future

    Also, avoid hypocrisy, double standards, model the values and beliefs you are trying to instill and impart to your child, lead by example, clarify, address openly situations or occurrences where you have lied to your child or in his/her eyes you broke your own rule and “lied”. Probe for the reasons for lying as opposed to defaulting to lecturing and punishment. You may find your child lied simply because they knew the behavior was wrong and they didn't want to get caught. Your strategy with dealing with your teen and lying  will mean now need refinement too - you need to let them know in very clear terms what behaviors are unacceptable and what the consequences will be, not only for repeating that behavior, but for lying about it. These are two separate events that will lead to separate sets of consequences. Adding that dimension assures a more in-depth approach that will build trust, respect,  close loopholes and enable teens actually not reverting to lying and behaving badly but choosing the moral high road – telling the truth even if it hurts!